May 23, 2007

How To Deal With Critics, Cynics and Skeptics

In This Issue:

Feature Article: "How To Deal With Critics, Cynics and Skeptics"

Quick Tips: "3 Tips For Avoiding Computer Related Back, Neck and Shoulder Pain"

Fast Facts: "Can Fat Be Turned Into Muscle?"

* FEATURE ARTICLE *

“How To Deal With Critics, Cynics and Skeptics”

You've probably come across your fair share of people who seem constantly critical, cynical or skeptical.

Handled poorly, such people can be painful to deal with.

On the other hand, it's possible to live or work quite happily with critics, cynics and skeptics.

You see, these three types of people are not necessarily "negative people" (i.e. people who tend to bring you down). If you know how to relate to them, you may well have a positive relationship with a critic, cynic or skeptic.

Of course, I'm generalizing. Hopefully there aren't too many people who are critical, cynical and skeptical ALL the time! But I hope you'll excuse a little generalizing for the sake of giving you some advice for how to relate to such people.

To ensure I devote enough attention to each type, let me discuss critics in this week's issue of Success Accelerator, and leave cynics and skeptics for next week and the week after respectively.

So... how do you deal with a critic? (And, by the way, when I say "critic" I don't mean a professional critic - I mean someone who just seems overly critical about things.)

Here are some suggestions:

1. Try to understand their motivations, or why they're predisposed to being critical.

Is it because...

-- They're right - or at least have a valuable perspective to contribute - and you're just being defensive?

-- They're highly analytical and what you are taking as a criticism is actually them trying to understand and evaluate things? In other words, they are critiquing rather than critisizing. They may actually be trying to help you!

-- They don't mean to sound critical but lack a certain amount of tact and sensitivity to your feelings?

-- They ARE critisizing, and do, in fact, want to undermine you (e.g. the ambitious colleague who wants to "beat" you to a promotion)?

-- They feel insecure about themselves which leads them to project their own insecurities onto you?

-- They find it difficult to *trust* anything or anyone, so that all their observations and opinions tend to be critical?

Or some other reason?

If you're able to get an idea of what is motivating their behavior (as well as what's motivating YOUR reaction to their behavior!) you'll probably have a better chance of neutralizing their effect on you.

You may not take it so personally. And it will probably give you some relief to know that they may actually be trying to help you... or may be miscommunicating genuinely constructive feedback... or may be actually be motivated by their own personal "issues".

2. Try to get beyond any tendency to be defensive and consider whether anything they say is actually valid i.e. it's feedback you can use to improve.

3. If you think it's worthwhile, explain or defend your position. But realise that depending on your objective - and the critic you're dealing with - you may not get anywhere. Choose your battles!

4. Let all the "invalid" critiques / criticisms wash off you. If the critic's motivation for being critical isn't really about you... and what they say is not particularly constructive... why give it the time of day?

5. If the critic is becoming tiresome - and depending on whether or not they're likely to care about your feelings - let them know that you don't appreciate their constant "pickiness" (or however you describe their behavior). Don't get into an argument about who's right and wrong - simply make it clear that you don't want them to continue behaving this way.

6. If nothing seems to work, and the critic really is getting you down, avoid or limit your exposure to them. In this case, they really are a negative influence and contact with them is probably doing you more harm than good!

These are my suggestions for dealing with a critic. Next week it's on to the cynic!

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* HIGHLY RECOMMENDED *

“How To Publish Your Own Successful Email Newsletter”

I was going to write a report on how to publish a successful email newsletter.

After all, I've been publishing Success Accelerator for about a year and a half now, and prior to that, I wrote 3 weekly newsletters for my previous Internet business. So I reckon I've learned a thing or two.

But Kevin Riley has beaten me to the punch!

Kevin, who's a good friend of mine, has just produced a report" Recipe For Delivering Your Own Popular Newsletter" which pretty much covers everything you need to know about publishing email newsletters, autoresponder series, and promotional emails.

So I'm not going to re-invent the wheel... get Kevin's report instead:

==> Recipe For Delivering Your Own Popular Newsletter

* QUICK TIPS *

“3 Tips For Avoiding Computer Related Back, Neck and Shoulder Pain”

1. Sit in a quality, adjustable and comfortable office chair. Sit close to your desk, at a height where your elbows, hips and knees are bent at approx. 90 degrees. Your forearms should be parallel or sloping down toward the desktop and your feet should be flat on the floor or on a footrest.

2. Sit upright and relax your shoulders. Your computer screen should be no more than an arm's length away, and the middle of the screen should be at eye level.

3. Take a break every 30 minutes. Stand up, go for a walk and rotate and stretch your neck, wrists and shoulders. Focus on a distant point to relax you eyes.

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* HIGHLY RECOMMENDED *

“Can It Be This Easy To Get a Great Job?”

A few weeks ago I started consulting with a local real estate agency. I love it! New possibilities are opening up for me, not least of which is the chance to build a new force in the real estate industry.

But if you think I went through some rigorous application process to get the gig... if you think I had to make a formal presentation... or that the woman who owns the company conducted extensive reference checks, reviewed my resume, or evaluated my credentials before bringing me on board... think again.

All it took were a couple of chats over coffee, a few emails to keep in touch... and bam! I was asked to come in and start work.

Yes, getting a job or consulting assignment can be this easy.

Actually it can be easier.

When you go through the SIDE door, that is.

Now, finding that side door may take a little creativity and effort. And patience too. But when you find it - you'll be walking right on through while everyone else stands in line, waiting and mostly failing, to make in through the front door.

Discover how to find the side door and walk on through to the job you want:

==> InsiderJobSecrets.com

* FAST FACTS *

“Can Fat Be Turned Into Muscle?”

Fat CANNOT be turned into muscle.

It's physically impossible because fat and muscle are made up of different types of cells.

One type of cell cannot be "turned into" another type.

However, through regular exercise and a healthy diet you CAN reduce the amount of fat you carry, whilst also increasing the size of your muscles...

...so you may end up *looking* as though you've replaced some fat
with muscle!

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