October 14, 2008

Is Self-Help a Sham?

In This Issue:

Feature Article: "Is Self-Help a Sham?"

Quick Tips : "Want To Know What Your Strengths Are?"

Food For Thought: "Why Do Some Relationships Last... While Others Fail?"

* FEATURE ARTICLE *

“Is Self-Help a Sham?”

Three years ago Steve Salerno came out with a book called 'Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless'.

Essentially, the book sought to expose the self-help 'industry' - an industry worth $8.56 billion in 2005 and expected to be worth $12 billion by 2008 according to Marketdata. The industry was, according to Salerno, "a social crusade about nothing... a religion whose clerics get very, very rich by stating the obvious in a laughably pontifical fashion."

If we agree that the self-help industry is worth $8-12 billion in the United States (and presumably much more worldwide), then perhaps it is reasonable to ask: what has society got for its money? Are more people happier and more successful? Have motivational seminars and movies such as 'The Secret' substantially changed millions of lives for the better?

I certainly haven't noticed any change in the half a dozen or so people I gave 'The Secret' DVD to. (I don't agree with everything in The Secret but I think it offered a positive message and was welcome food for thought). And if you consider the number of people with mental health issues i.e. who suffer depression or other kinds of negative mental conditions, the self-help industry doesn't seem to have helped them.

According to the United States National Institute of Mental Health, about 25 percent of the U.S. population suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year, and more than half of U.S. adults have a mental or physical condition that prevents them from working or conducting their usual duties (e.g., role disability) for several days each year. And that's not to mention your regular, day-to-day, 'negativity' so manypeople seem to suffer from.

Of course, it's not necessarily those with mental health conditions who seek self-help. But, in any case, is it fair to argue that because so much money is spent on self-help... while so many people continue to be unhappy – or at least are not much happier or more successful – the self-help industry is a sham?

I don't think so. That's about as valid as arguing that because the fitness industry is so big... while the population is becoming fatter... the fitness industry is a sham.

For a start, becoming fit is a fairly straightforward process and the health benefits are widely acknowledged. The fact that the majority of the population doesn't appear to follow this process doesn't mean the fitness industry is at fault. It indicates to me that there are much more powerful forces at work that largely undermine efforts to promote fitness.

The same applies to self-help. In fact, if we're going to link spending with results, let's consider how much is spent on self-help compared with how much is spent on gambling, or tobacco, or alcohol, or fast food... or any number of other things that are arguably less constructive (or downright destructive). A quick review of some estimates reveals that spending on self-help pales in comparison with spending on what some would say are vices (and not the only vices either!):

• Legalized gambling: $54 billion
• Tobacco: $43 billion
• Alcohol: $350 billion
• Fast food: $115 billion

So if, as a society, we spend many hundreds of dollars on somewhat negative influences for every dollar we spend on becoming happier and more successful... is it any surprise that, as a whole, we haven't become happier? What's more, if some elements of the self-help industry are indeed a waste of money then the ratio of 'negative to positive' spending is even greater.

Fortunately, you and I are NOT 'society' and we are free to invest more in self-help than in negative influences (whether we invest money or simply time and effort). Wedon't have to – and we should not – apply the ratio used by society as a whole to ourselves.

And nor do we need to buy into the view that the self-help movement is a sham. I have personally gained a great deal from, and been hugely inspired by, a number of self-help speakers and writers. Moreover, when we consider just how small the industry is, compared with certain other somewhat negative industries (and that's not to mention an array of other negative social forces) , is it any wonder that society as a whole hasn't reaped more benefits? In fact, I think it’s fair to argue that not enough is spent on self-help...

(Sources: Steve Salerno, Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless, Crown, 2005, National Institute of Mental Health, American Gaming Association, IBISWorld, USA Today, Distilled Spirits Council of the United States)

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* HIGHLY RECOMMENDED *

“Discover The Only Self-Help Program I Recommend”

It's called Simpleology and it could well TRANSFORM your life... for the better.

Best of all, it's FREE.

Discover more here...

* QUICK TIPS *

“Want To Know What Your Strengths Are?”

Want to better understand your strengths and/or the strengths of the people you manage or work with? Consider taking the Kolbe A™ Index/Instinct Test.

This test purports to measure how you tend to behave when free to be yourself.

It's not a personality test. Nor does it reflect how you think you should be or act. Rather, it indicates how you currently - and will always - instinctively behave.

I took the test recently and found the results to be incredibly enlightening. You might also. It costs around US $50 per person to get the results and find out their implications but it may be worth it. It may well change the way you allocate tasks and work with others in your team.

==> Kolbe A Index/Instinct Test

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* HIGHLY RECOMMENDED *

“How an Ordinary Manager Transformed a Struggling Business On The Verge Of Collapse Into a $40 Million Company”

Here’s a shocking, yet true, story...

At the start of last year, a good friend of mine took the job of Chief Technology Officer (CTO) at a small technology company.

The company was five years old, but hopelessly unprofitable.

It’s backers – a venture capital company – were growing impatient with the company’s abysmal performance and ordered the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) to appoint someone who could commercialize the company’s technology – so they would finally have a product to sell.

Otherwise, the venture capital company would no longer fund the business.

My friend was excited about the job. He was a bit of a risk taker, and despite the pressure, looked forward to helping the company bring its product to market and build it into a profitable business.

But there was one problem.

A big problem.

The staff, the CEO warned him, were “incompetent and lazy.”

In fact, one of the reasons the CTO was being hired was to get rid of the “dead wood.”

“Frankly,” the CEO told my friend, “you’ll probably have to fire the lot of them.”

Read on...

* FOOD FOR THOUGHT *

“Why Do Some Relationships Last...
While Others Fail?”

The extent to which we're able to maintain a positive relationship with someone else depends on the balance between how much:

1. They adapt to our expectations of how they should behave; and
2. We accept them for who they are (i.e. how they behave when free to be themselves).

The upshot is that the more someone adapts to our expectations, the less we need to accept them for who they are, and vice versa.

Of course, in some cases, where we and the other person have similar values and expectations about behavior, it won't be an issue for them to adapt to our expectations, or for us to accept them for who they are.

In other cases, the other person will be so different from us that there will be no adaptation on their part, nor any acceptance on ours.

The challenge is, however, where we wish to maintain a relationship with someone who is significantly different from us. And that's where it becomes a matter of adaptation and acceptance on both our parts.

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